


"I'm not going to leave you."

by Sarcasm_with_a_side_of_fries



Series: Random Platonic Relationships & prompts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Insecurity, Mentioned Skip Westcott, Natasha Romanov Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker has PTSD, Peter Parker is a Mess, Protective Natasha Romanov, skip westcott can burn in hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29788263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcasm_with_a_side_of_fries/pseuds/Sarcasm_with_a_side_of_fries
Summary: Peter Parker has been having nightmares for a long time now without telling any of the avengers, when Natasha finds him shaking and screaming she wakes him from the prison his mind had locked him within.She comforts him in the aftermath of the nightmare, where he relived some of the worst things that have ever happened to him on replay.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov
Series: Random Platonic Relationships & prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189592
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	"I'm not going to leave you."

**Author's Note:**

> This is low-key projection not gonna lie 
> 
> anyway this is my new series functions the same as my other but with platonic relationships

Peter would never admit to anyone that his nightmares are getting worse, even if logically any member of the team would understand and probably try to help him. They already see him as the tag along kid who gets into too much trouble if they find out that he is having nightmares they might decide he is too young and childish for avengers work. 

He knows Tony has nightmares- he’s heard other members of the team talking to him about them in the middle of the night but Tony has reasons to have nightmares Peter doesn’t think he does. Sam would probably be able to teach him how to cope with them but he might also mock him, Sam tends to mock him a lot then again Sam mocks everyone so it probably isn’t personal. Bruce is always nice but he has enough to worry about as it is. Steve is… nice enough but he is mister make you train for nine hours on a Saturday and he’s the team leader. Clint is the joker but he would probably at least try to be sympathetic, Peter has seen him get serious before and if he’s being honest it was kind of scary. Bucky is the exact opposite and honestly doesn’t really talk to anyone Peter can remember seeing him smile maybe twice and once was before they ran head first into a hoard of HYDRA creations which was… unsettling to say the least. Then there is Wanda, and Peter would talk to her but he’s a little afraid she’ll try and use her powers to fix the problem which no offence to her, he likes his head not messed with. Lastly there is Natsaha who is nice enough to him, she helps train him and gets the others off his back when they go too far with the teasing like the time when Clint put glitter in his web shooters and free fell seven stories before Tony grabbed him. 

The nightmares are memories more than his imagination messing with him which he supposes is what makes them so much worse. Memories of hands where shouldn’t be, uncle Ben bleeding to death, getting trapped under the building, people he couldn’t save, and the missions that he just can’t seem to shake. When it is his immingation making things up it’s people leaving him, like Tony realizing he isn’t worth the trouble, aunt May dying because he left her to live with the avengers (although he sees her five or more times a week), sometimes it’s seeing skip again or what would have happened if he couldn’t push the building off of himself. 

It’s only inevitable that someone would eventually find out about the images that haunt his subconscious in the night. It was only a matter of time before someone found him in a state so unlike his normal one, a matter of time until somebody knew everything because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

It happens on a night when most of the team is away for one reason or another, Tony is in his workshop under strict instructions that unless someone is dying or the world is under attack he is to be left alone which means the only other person left in the tower is Natasha. She had ordered them both dinner from some chinese place around the block before going to bed telling Peter if he needed anything to have FRIDAY alert her. He doubts she actually meant that and besides he’s old enough to take care of himself (mostly) so it doesn’t matter if she didn’t mean it because he won’t need her. 

Fate of course had other plans for him that night of course (because Parker luck strikes again). 

_ He’s six years old again sitting in his childhood bedroom, skip is there. “Hey Einstein.”  _

_ He hates that nickname. “Let’s play a game.” He doesn’t like this game.  _

_ He’s eleven years old again, he gets in a fight with uncle Ben and decides to run off. Ben chases after him. There's a loud noise. People are yelling. There's red everywhere. Aunt May is screaming. Uncle Ben is gone.  _

_ He’s fifteen again, the building is heavy as it crushes his lungs. He tries to scream. No one is coming.  _

_ He’s sixteen, there’s a little girl. The masked man stabs her. She crumples to the ground and there's blood everywhere. He can’t save her.  _

_ He’s sixteen, they stumbled upon a HYDRA cell. There’s a room full of children. They look so empty. They’ll never recover.  _

Peter doesn’t know he’s screaming until there’s a hand on his shoulder forcefully shaking him awake. “Peter, kid, wake up.” He lunges forward breathing harsh and uneven. 

“No no no no.” He mumbles the word over and over again. “I don’t want to play. Uncle Ben! Can’t breathe. So much blood. Empty eyes.” His mind runs over every memory over and over. 

“Peter.” A voice breaks through the haze, it’s feminine and familiar. He knows that voice. It’s a safe voice. Natasha's his mind supplies sluggishly. “Hey, I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?” 

“Tasha.” The name is slur and it feels foreign for some reason. “Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.” The phrase is familiar, aunt May used to tell him to breathe when he had nightmares. He can breathe, there’s no weight on his chest, he can breathe. “I can breathe.” 

“Yeah.” Natasha agrees. He notices there's a hand rubbing his back he doesn’t know when it started but it’s something to focus on. It’s soothing, he relaxes a little and his head starts to come back to him. 

“M’sorry.” He mumbles. 

“Hey, none of that. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“I did. I did it all wrong. I let Skip touch even though it was wrong and I ran away so uncle Ben got shot and I didn’t listen to Tony and I didn’t save the girl and…” Natasha isn’t fully sure what any of that means but she has an idea and it makes her feel oddly protective. 

“Peter who is Skip?” She has to ask. 

“Babysitter, bad man, dirty.” Peter makes a face shaking his head. That only confirms her suspicions which while it explains why peter is so weary of new men it also makes her sick. 

“You shouldn't blame yourself for any of those things.” There’s a voice in the back of her head that tells her she’s getting too close to the kid but she decides to kill it even if it is against her better judgement. “Do you have nightmares a lot?” He nods. “Did you tell anyone?” He shakes his head. “Why not?” 

“Makes me weak. Everyone will leave. Tony and Bruce and Steve and Clint and Sam and Bucky and Wanda and You everyone will leave. Everyone always leaves.” 

“Nightmares don’t make you weak, they make you human and,” She repeats the statement that Coulson had once used to soothe her years ago, she was barely older than Peter is now.  **“I’m not going to leave you.”** The statement is so strikingly true she has to squash down the instincts telling her to run. What is it about this kid? 

“You should. I cause problems, attract danger.” 

“I cause problems and attract danger too.” She says it bluntly. “We all do.” She then wraps her arm around his shoulders in an action that shocks the both of them. “We all have nightmares, you can’t do this job and not have nightmares but you don’t have to be alone. It’s okay to lean on other people sometimes.” Something Clint had told her shortly after he rescued her from the KGB. She didn’t believe him for a long time but maybe he had the right idea (not that she’ll ever admit that to his face). 

If she instructs FRIDAY to inform her every time Peter has nightmares from that day on, nobody but she and him need to know that. Peter has a long way to go before he realizes he isn’t burdening everyone around him, and even longer before he realizes that all of the avengers do care about him just in their own special ways. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments appreciated, constructive criticism welcome, hate ignored 
> 
> please consider taking a few minutes to complete this survey (it'll help me decide how I am going to go about this series)   
>  https://forms.gle/QxMA3ib3mYLwRWqB7


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